Carey Danielle Rasmus

          i am from
          (the hudson, part I)
          by Carey Danielle Rasmus

i am from a city on the hudson
     green
          trees envy me
     because i walk with the legs they dream of

this river is like sap in my veins
     rooting me
          to this land
     touching me
          with beauty
     chaining me
          with invisible threads

my prayers go out to the river
dropping like child thrown pebbles
     and then forgotten
          as waves devour the ripples
          of my concern

i envy the trees the simplicity
     of their capture
     they need the land until death calls
     there is no question
          only dreams

i have the possibility of distancing myself
the physical foot follows foot ability

but my roots dig far into this soil
clenching at bedrock
refusing to give me wings

*

tidal.
(the hudson, part II)

the problem with poetry is that
     sometimes
          the truth changes
there was a time i wrote about the hudson
     and how it was the blood in my veins
          how i couldn’t leave its banks
          how it held me there
          chained

it was truth
i ricocheted
away and back
ebbing and flowing like its tides

it was truth

but my truth has changed
i have aged and moved
i am 3000 miles distant
and cannot go back

what was once life-sustaining
     feels more like poison
     tainting me still
     breaking down my shores and sanity
          breaking down my self

this is my truth
i haven’t lied
it’s just that the truth
is tidal

Carey Danielle Rasmus is a special education teacher who specializes in at-risk adolescents. She now lives in the San Francisco bay area with her husband, son, and two cats. She grew up in the Hudson Valley of New York state.